The media blatantly and unapologetically presents a very skewed image of health and beauty. The average model is almost 6 feet tall and has a BMI of 17% or less. According to health and wellness guidelines a person of that body composition is underweight to severely underweight, and yet in our society we are bombarded with messages that tell us this anorexic “ideal” is what happy and successful people look like. The media certainly influences body image and how it shapes us as individuals; peer influence, family expectations and ethnocultural norms also have significant impact on how we see ourselves.
I am a formerly obese person. I have been on a journey to improved health for sometime now. Losing over 100 pounds has transformed my life in many ways, I’m healthier, I have more stamina and I more actively engaged in my life. All of these things are wonderful! I have noticed something else though, something that is really pissing me off! As my weight loss progressed, somewhere along the line my cloaking device disengaged. Imagine my surprise as I approach the entrance to Starbucks recently, and the door was opened for me. I should be thrilled right? I’m not thrilled. I’m totally pissed! Why is it, that now I am deserving of positive regard and common courtesy, when before my weight loss… for the most part, I was not?
Many people of size go through life unnoticed. Imagine the pain of being on a bus, or in line at the grocery store and having people either avert their eyes, look at you with disdain, or worse take no notice of you whatsoever. Being treated with disrespect is inappropriate and painful, but disregard is worse. Disrespect is a form of acknowledgement, albeit negative. Disregard however is more damaging as it communicates that a person is not worthy of notice or acknowledgement of any kind. There is this perception that people of size are lazy, self-indulgent, and completely lacking in motivation. What is worse is that people of size are routinely blamed for their weight-related challenges, regardless of their struggles to overcome them.
It’s not just a case of doors being opened; I no longer have experiences like this one: Several years ago a friend and I were shopping for a bridal shower gift for a mutual friend. As we entered the lingerie store and had just begun to browse the merchandise a sales girl approached us. Instead of the usual “may I help you” she greeted us with “oh, we don’t have anything in YOUR size here, you might want to go shop at the big girl store!” The sales girl stood with her arms folded and looked at us with clear disgust. It was also clear that she wanted us to leave. We were making her uncomfortable. We let her know how we felt about her customer service skills in no uncertain terms, and left the store. People of size have experiences like this on a daily basis. Airline seats, turnstiles, and restaurant seating present real challenges for people whose body conformation exceeds the allotted space. Dealing with the accumulated pain of such encounters can cause a person to gradually disengage from the world.
Although I have been on this journey toward improved health, I want to be quite clear that I do not feel that all people of size must transform themselves as I have. My choice was just that… mine. I made my choice for my own specific reasons, not so I could suddenly be regarded as worthy in the eyes of my fellow human beings.
As a society we need to challenge our perceptions of people of size. It starts by examining our own biases. Ask yourself “do I make weight based assumptions regarding a person’s character, intelligence, professional success, or health?” We need to identify and confront our own biases, develop empathy, and work to address the needs and concerns of people of size.
Small changes can have such a great impact. Look for changes that you can make. Do you own a business? Create an open and welcoming environment with large, armless chairs in waiting rooms and common areas, which accommodate a variety of body sizes. These friendly furnishings are also very handy for a person with an infant in a carrier or a person with mobility limitations. Make a point, to interact with all kinds of people, push your current boundaries.
I want the world to treat me as a person first. I am a person with gifts to share and contributions to make, a person with hopes and dreams, a person of worth. As a person of size, I wanted that too… just to be perceived as a human being, who contributes to our collective earthly experience and who is deserving of positive regard and common courtesy. Doesn’t seem too much to ask.
So why, why, WHY is this posted on my WLS blog? Well for me, the key factor in getting over a plateau, kick starting loss, or just maintaining... is exercise. I have been sidelined by my doctor. Her diagnosis Post Concussion Syndrome. Her orders 4 - 6 weeks from the most recent injury - of WAY dialed back activity. Full days of full weeks at work, not recommended. FMLA paperwork has been filed, just in case I need it. 
Fast forward 2 1/2 years. We again went to Saugatuck, this time with one of the express purposes being, that I wanted to tackle Mt. Baldhead, and kick its ass, as opposed to it nearly doing me in. We were surprised to see that a new set of steps had been built, still numbering 282 to reach the summit. I read online that it cost $99,990 to replace the steps.
I know some other folks who have had bariatric surgery and are various distances on their respective journeys. I see some of those folks engaging in habits that scare me to death... the food choices, the amounts... scare me. I didn't go through all I have been through thus far to go back to that place. I have a friend who counsels people who struggle with food related issues, and she told me that I am only the second person she has known, who she considers a bariatric success story, who hasn't fallen back into the pit of destructive food behaviors. That scares me too! But this is a healthy fear, and a useful one. It keeps me on track!
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I kicked another one of those second year goals this week. I went to Warren Dunes (my favorite summer place) on Monday. The first thing I did was to climb Tower Hill, I tackled it first because the sand was not 8 million degrees as it was still early. I made it to the top! I didn't feel like I was going to die or puke or anything (always a bonus). Okay so if you are not familiar, this is Tower Hill - which rises 263 feet above Lake Michigan. It may not LOOK like a serious challenge, but believe me, it's not exactly a walk in the park either! The last time I climbed Tower Hill was in 2002, I made it by sheer willpower and stubbornness, but I felt like my heart was going to explode and I had to rest MANY times going up, each time I almost went back down. My Son was in Marine Corps boot camp at the time and I missed him greatly. I took the kids to the dunes a lot as they were growing up. So I made myself make it to the top and rested a long time before going back down. This time, it was so much easier and I actually enjoyed it! It was such a hoot I actually PASSED teenagers, who were whining that they couldn't make it. I told them "if this old lady can make it... so can you! The second image is from the TOP of tower Hill. About a half an hour after this was taken, I was in the lake (heaven)!
One of my year 2 goals was to get a decent bike and start riding... working to longer distances. Well I've now got the bike, a Trek 7100 - its a hybrid, and I LOVE it! I had been doing some random riding around my community, jaunts of 5 - 8 miles, no biggie, and having fun with that. Jen and I started investigating rail trails, and liked the idea. So last weekend we rode the "Panhandle Pathway" from Winamac Indiana to Star City Indiana, just 9 miles round trip, but very nice. I like the rail trails because you are not dodging traffic and they are mostly flat and very scenic. Yesterday we decided to tackle part of the Kal-Haven Trail which runs from Kalamazoo Michigan to South Haven Michigan. We started in South Haven - went to Bloomingdale (the 1/2 way point) and then back to South Haven for a round trip of 33.87 miles. I am thankful to my good friend Matt who has given us TONS of good advise, helped me select my bike and figured out what size I needed. Matt also helped me select a good women's specific saddle (from the Body Geometry line of products by Specialized). Would it be inappropriate to tell him that my butt thanks him??? That saddle made SUCH a difference. We rode the 32+ miles and we made it, we were tired, but not "OMG I think I'm gunna die" tired. We are planning on doing a ride at the end of July that is 68 miles (one way). In talking to Matt, he told us that when doing long, multi day rides, the worst part is getting back in the saddle as it were, on day 2. So today we decided to hit the Pumpkin Vine Trail in Goshen Indiana (10.2 miles round trip) to see how we would do. The first mile my butt was like "uh, NOOOOO, get me off of this thing right NOW" and just above my knees were screaming "what the *&^%$ do you think you're DOING??" But after another mile or 2, they loosened up and the ride was great. My 1st post on this blog that talked about riding a bike was when I was 8 weeks post op, not quite a year ago. I was crowing that I had managed to ride 3 miles, and that was a great accomplishment given where I was. I never would have DREAMED I could ride over 30 miles! It is an amazing feeling to be able to do that! So onward and upward, racking up miles to longer rides, in preparation for the ride to/from Yellow Springs (don't remember the other terminus of the trail we'll be riding). I've got my wheels, and I'm givin it hell!
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Protein, protein, protein. It is SOOO important! I've known this from way before the surgery, it was imbedded in all of the pre-op education, and I have focused on it from the get-go. However, it has gradually become less of a focus. As I get further and further post-op... different foods have wandered back into my diet, such as more carbs. Not necessarily BAD carbs, I'm not snarfing down sweets... not to worry my faithful friends... the consequences of THAT behavior would be dire indeed, and I know it! But with restricted portions, any non-protein you consume kind of kicks a certain amount of protein out. You can only put so much into the pouch after all! So along with the traumatic effects of the surgery on my hair (didn't think I could NOT mention it, didja?)... my nails are showing signs as well, more brittleness and some ridges and peeling that I know to be signs of not enough protein. So, I have renewed my efforts to up the amount of protein, and I am keeping a food log, and keeping track of my protein grams on that as well. Its an "in your face" way to see how I'm doing with protein day by day. We have chickens so we have a bountiful supply of fresh, chem-free eggs. I have gone back to the big 3, meat, cheese & eggs to give my protein levels a kick in the butt. I still supplement with protein bars (Pure Protein brand rocks at 20 G/bar and low levels of sugar)... but I'm being very deliberate about adding in protein foods as well. I need to get the levels up to be healthy... but also so that my hair will GROW again!
