Holy Crap, it's been a long time since I've been here! Life gets away from me, just like everyone else, I guess. I've been in a stuck place all winter, less opportunities to exercise... sure, but I gotta OWN it... less motivation to exercise. I guess I've been channeling my inner bear... and just hibernating through the cold & snowy months. At present I'm about 25 pounds over the very first goal I set, but about 15 from my "reality goal." My provider told me that I'd be totin 5 - 10 pounds of extra skin unless I had it lopped off, so I set a "reality goal." I am trying as some very wise people have been telling me to not focus on the number on the scale, but look at where I am, and where I've been. I've had many of my peeps ask me, if I wanted to lose more, and when I respond that I'd love to lose 10 or 15 more... their brows furrow... and they ask me if it will make me feel better (like healthy wise) and I admit, that it may not make that much of a difference. "Then WHY... you look GREAT!" is the usual response. I guess it probably IS just a numbers thing. Unless I have it surgically removed (not going to happen) I'll always have my "spare tire" of extra skin, so I'll never have a striking hourglass figure... and I really don't care. Beauty is within, and even external beauty is defined BROADLY in my world view. Some of the most awesome people I know do not conform to the bullshit "ideal" of beauty in our society. And it's not just that I love these people, but they are active and vital and live in a good way. So my goal this spring is to get back into a more active mode, to ride my bike, to hike and whatever else presents itself. If increased activity help with those last few pounds... great... but if not... that really is OKAY!
I know some other folks who have had bariatric surgery and are various distances on their respective journeys. I see some of those folks engaging in habits that scare me to death... the food choices, the amounts... scare me. I didn't go through all I have been through thus far to go back to that place. I have a friend who counsels people who struggle with food related issues, and she told me that I am only the second person she has known, who she considers a bariatric success story, who hasn't fallen back into the pit of destructive food behaviors. That scares me too! But this is a healthy fear, and a useful one. It keeps me on track!I KNOW I am not going back to where I was... that is the important thing here... I guess I need to remind myself of that from time to time, and quit spazzing about numbers. I thought I'd include this pic. My bariatric provider has me as their poster child on the binders they give to patients now... and looking at the 2 pics, even blows ME away! So yeah, really... I'm doing just FINE!
Keepin' it real my peeps!
Lynn
