Celebrating My Re-Birth Day

Today I celebrate my re-birth day.  The new me was born one year ago today. The past year has been one of great change.  There have  obviously been physical changes, but so many others as well. HUGE changes in habits of mind in relationship to food.  I am not perfect and of course I have days that I want to eat in response to stress.  Sometimes I do succumb to that a little bit, but that is no longer my primary coping mechanism.  I characterize it that I now eat to live... as opposed to living to eat.  When I frame a celebration, of course food needs to be planned, but it is different for me now, as I don't have to worry that I'll over indulge on sweets and feel bad later... because I CAN'T go crazy on sweets or I'll be sick.  So it takes the pressure off in that sense.  

My perception of self is a work in progress. People say "hey there skinny" and I do not  know how to react.  I used to rebuff the comment telling them I'm not skinny etc.. but my teachings tell me that to refuse a gift (and a heartfelt compliment is certainly a gift) is to insult the giver... so I don't DO that any more.  I know that I am still overweight and one goal that I had was to no longer BE overweight... so I'm not sure how I balance this with people telling me that I don't need to lose any more.  I'm still working on knowing how to know when it is enough.

My level of physical activity has drastically changed too.  Some things are obvious, like the ability and DESIRE to ride a bike and walk for extended periods.  But others are not so obvious... like last night I was weeding in the garden and was hunkered over for some time before it occurred to me... "HEY, I can do this without feeling like I am asphyxiating myself!"(bending over for any amount of time reduced my air intake before I lost weight).  I can carry things and just help with physical things around the farm that I wasn't as involved in before because I was so winded.  This morning I was thinking I'd like to tackle the stairs at Mount Baldhead in Saugatuk/Douglas again and see how different the experience is from the last time I did that.  poor Jen thought I was going to collapse on the way up... seriously, I'm not exaggerating here, and I was also worried, but would not give up until I reached the top. 

I am creating a "year two list" of things I'd like to at least try sometime in this second year of my new life.  So here goes:

• Climb a rock wall
• Run - not necessarily do a running event, but just see if I can... you know... run!
• Get a good bike - and ride regularly... building up to longer distances
• Climb Mt. Baldhead
• Climb Tower Hill at Warren Dunes State Park

That's all I can think of off the top of my head.  I owe an immense debt of gratitude to the people on my support team:

• Creator 
• Jen
• My family: Kids, siblings, extended family
• My Circle of Friends
• The awesome folks at Team:Bariatrics
• Roseann

Peace out my peeps!
OH here's the count T minus 103 and counting...