Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Plateau From Hell...

Captainsblog, Stardate: 63575.1 It's been a while since my last post... not much going on... at ALL. I know that plateaus are part of the process, but DAMN! I've been plateau'd for about a month. Funny thing is, this last month to 6 weeks I have been the most active time for me since my surgery. I am exercising on a regular basis at home, and have added walking to my workday. I joined the fitness facility at work, and have been walking on my lunch hour. I started out with a mile, and am up to 1.25 miles. I plan to add 1/4 mile every few days. My Wii still says I'm obese, which is less than helpful in the overall scheme of things. So this plateau WILL break, I know it... but I'm getting just the tiniest bit frustrated by it all.

I'm going to counseling to deal with past issues in a healthy way, so that I don't turn back to food and sabotage all of my hard work. I can report that those food/comfort habits are such conditioned responses in me. I've had some things come up that have made me really WANT to just eat n eat n eat.
We've seen several passings in our family and circle of friends lately, and that makes it really hard... again, the need to comfort oneself is nearly overwhelming. I have been able to resist and redirect those urges but it's really HARD! Of course it does help that I can't eat certain things. Well I guess I CAN eat anything, it's just a matter of what consequences I am willing to pay. Well, I'm not willing to face the wrath of my digestive tract for the momentary "comfort" of eating a candy bar or something. It is easier to say no to the eat eat eat impulses when the objects of my craving aren't really available to me anyhow. Somehow stuffing carrots into my face, doesn't have the same soothing affect as chocolate might!

My hair is still retreating, but the thinning is slowing and I do see some new growth. I'm still bummed about that... knowing that it will literally be years before my hair is at my pre-op length... if it EVER gets there.

Still plugging away, and I do wonder from time to time, if anyone is out there reading this... but this writing is good for me, so I'll keep it up.

Peace Out!

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