Another Lesson Trying to Be Learned

Captainsblog, Stardate: 63824.3

It's all about the journey... right? So on the journey there's a LOT of scenery... valleys and mountains and even plateaus.  I made the mistake last week of saying I was on "the plateau from hell" to the wonderful person who is helping me sort some of my "stuff" out.  Her questions about why I would call it that... help me to examine my progress to this place where I am today.  Okay yes, I KNOW the erroneous height/weight charts are full of it... and down right evil.  I've lost... a LOT at this point (100 - 103 depending on the day).  My family, my friends, my counselor... tell me that even if I didn't lose another ounce, I am great.  Part of me is cool with that... part of me isn't.  I don't know if the notion of being labeled as "overweight" is what I'm hanging up on.  The evil H/W charts and even the blasted Wii... tell me that I am overweight.  And seriously... when in my recent history did I give a rat's ass about what other people think? That should apply to or a chart... or a piece of equipment conceived by people too! If I have leveled off... if I am going to be "stuck" at this weight... it that a huge problem?  

I am at at beautiful place... I am more active, I feel SO much better.  I am in control... not controlled BY food. So what could be the problem?  What do I have to do to convince MYself, that the charts are propagated by the insurance industry, and are indeed erroneous and evil?  I am not gaining back my weight... I have not "failed" I am not giving certain people the satisfaction of being right "everyone I ever knew who had that surgery gained it all back and then some" (biotch!).  I am doing just FINE!!!


I KNOW that a lesson is repeated until it is learned, so I'm trying like hell to figure this out...

See the picture... that is a BEAUTIFUL plateau in Australia called Uluru.. a place I hope to one day visit and feel the vibrations of the past.  I cannot imagine  more beautiful place... so why do I consider natural landform plateaus beautiful and my natural bodyform plateau not to be an equally beautiful place to be????