A Whole Other Country

Captainsblog, Stardate: 64193.3

Okay so it's been 15 months since I began this journey, time to take stock.  So much has changed.  There are the obvious physical changes, but there are some not so obvious ones too. I never felt that I was a person who was downtrodden by their excess weight to the point of not engaging with society and being a hermit. However I do see that I am more confident as I move through this world now.  I think that some of that is because the physical reality of literally moving in this world is easier.  There were times before when went into a store for example, if the layout was not conducive to my navigating without fear of inadvertently knocking something over lets say, that I had to be much more deliberate about my movements in that environment.  That is not as much of an issue these days.  Also, I've always had (but certainly not always displayed) an attitude of "this is me, deal with it."  I did spend part of my life where wondering how I was being judged by someone due to my size, led me to keep that attitude in check. Other factors such as living with an oppressive person contributed to the manner in which I dealt with life.  Not these days... it's WYSIWYG all the way baby!  If someone doesn't like the person they see in me, that's pretty much their problem, I won't own that any more.  Some people may see that as smugness, but it is truly not. I call it integrity. I believe that how I am, the person I am inside, is who Creator made me to be, I make no apologies for that, and believe that to deny that person a space in the world, would be going against Creator's plan for me.  So yeah, that whole keeping quiet, squelching myself to avoid rocking someone ELSE'S boat... been there, done that, got the T-shirt (an XXXL).  Other factors certainly contributed to my former mode of being in this world, and I continue to process them... I am finding my way.    Here's the contrast pic du jour:

 

My daughter says when she sees the pic on the right she hears the song "I've Got a New AttiTUDE"... I guess that's about right.

As I walk my path today and look around.. the scenery looks so different, its like a whole other country!  What has not changed, is the love and support of my wonderful peeps.  My family and friends, are an incredibly gifted bunch of folks, who truly see people for who they are and do not judge folks on the superficial qualities that some folks do.  It is by walking alongside the people in my circle, that enables me to explore, and enjoy this world. 

Chii Migwetch to you all... you  KNOW who you are!