Conquering Goals

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I kicked another one of those second year goals this week.  I went to Warren Dunes (my favorite summer place) on Monday.  The first thing I did was to climb Tower Hill, I tackled it first because the sand was not 8 million degrees as it was still early.  I made it to the top! I didn't feel like I was going to die or puke or anything (always a bonus).  Okay so if you are not familiar, this is Tower Hill - which rises 263 feet above Lake Michigan.  It may not LOOK like a serious challenge, but believe me, it's not exactly a walk in the park either!  The last time I climbed Tower Hill was in 2002, I made it by sheer willpower and stubbornness, but I felt like my heart was going to explode and I had to rest MANY times going up, each time I almost went back down.  My Son was in Marine Corps boot camp at the time and I missed him greatly.  I took the kids to the dunes a lot as they were growing up.  So I made myself make it to the top and rested a long time before going back down. This time, it was so much easier and I actually enjoyed it!  It was such a hoot I actually PASSED teenagers, who were whining that they couldn't make it.  I told them "if this old lady can make it... so can you! The second image is from the TOP of tower Hill.  About a half an hour after this was taken, I was in the lake (heaven)!

I'm still cycling, still loving it!  Today we rode the Nickel Plate Trail, 20 miles round trip... it was a sweet ride!  Tomorrow I'm hitting the Pumpkinvine Trail.  I love riding the rail trails, the only time you have deal with cars is when the trail crosses a road.  So MUCH better than road riding!

Well I guess that's it for now... Peace out my peeps!

Well THAT was Fun!

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An update on those goals...

• Still cycling and loving it!   The last couple of weeks have been very busy, between helping with childcare for my Granddaughter, taking a much needed "staycation" and coming back to work to some very long days, I have not ridden as much as I would like, but every time I do it feels GREAT!  It is still hard for me to believe that I can ride for miles and miles and not feel like I am going to DIE!!!  I am looking forward to and planning more cycling adventures. I'd love to do a multi day ride at some point too!
• I've been to Warren Dunes and done a fair amount of swimming. And I have to say it is incredibly odd to swim without my long hair trailing around me - I always swam with it unfettered so it is a very different sensation, or lack thereof.  (I haven't mentioned the hair since May, but I miss it a lot. I love my short hair, but miss my long hair at the same time) Sooo back to the dunes... I have yet to conquer Tower Hill - I'd rather do that on a day the sand is not 120 degrees!
• Okay that running thing... I did that one day last week, just a short sprint and it went okay. I found that I CAN physically run.  I'm just not a fan. Too much of my loose stuff flopping around to suit me, and too much impact on my poor hips, but I did it!
• Have not wandered to Saugatuk to get reacquainted with Mt. Baldhead, or encountered a rock wall so those goals are in still waiting.

Can't think of anything else at present, so peace-out my peeps!

Hell on Wheels

Captainsblog, Stardate: 63951.3

One of my year 2 goals was to get a decent bike and start riding... working to longer distances. Well I've now got the bike, a Trek 7100 - its a hybrid, and I LOVE it! I had been doing some random riding around my community, jaunts of 5 - 8 miles, no biggie, and having fun with that.  Jen and I started investigating rail trails, and liked the idea.  So last weekend we rode the "Panhandle Pathway" from Winamac Indiana to Star City Indiana, just 9 miles round trip, but very nice.  I like the rail trails because you are not dodging traffic and they are mostly flat and very scenic.  Yesterday we decided to tackle part of the Kal-Haven Trail which runs from Kalamazoo Michigan to South Haven Michigan. We started in South Haven - went to Bloomingdale (the 1/2 way point) and then back to South Haven for a round trip of 33.87 miles.  I am thankful to my good friend Matt who has given us TONS of good advise, helped me select my bike and figured out what size I needed.  Matt also helped me select a good women's specific saddle (from the Body Geometry line of products by Specialized).  Would it be inappropriate to tell him that my butt thanks him???  That saddle made SUCH a difference.  We rode the 32+ miles and we made it, we were tired, but not "OMG I think I'm gunna die" tired. We are planning on doing a ride at the end of July that is 68 miles (one way).  In talking to Matt, he told us that when doing long, multi day rides, the worst part is getting back in the saddle as it were, on day 2.  So today we decided to hit the Pumpkin Vine Trail in Goshen Indiana (10.2 miles round trip) to see how we would do.  The first mile my butt was like "uh, NOOOOO, get me off of this thing right NOW"  and just above my knees were screaming "what the *&^%$ do you think you're DOING??"  But after another mile or 2, they loosened up and the ride was great. My 1st post on this blog that talked about riding a bike was when I was 8 weeks post op, not quite a year ago.  I was crowing that I had managed to ride 3 miles, and that was a great accomplishment given where I was.  I never would have DREAMED I could ride over 30 miles! It is an amazing feeling to be able to do that! So onward and upward, racking up miles to longer rides, in preparation for the ride to/from Yellow Springs (don't remember the other terminus of the trail we'll be riding).  I've got my wheels, and I'm givin it hell!

Peace out my peeps!

Celebrating My Re-Birth Day

Today I celebrate my re-birth day.  The new me was born one year ago today. The past year has been one of great change.  There have  obviously been physical changes, but so many others as well. HUGE changes in habits of mind in relationship to food.  I am not perfect and of course I have days that I want to eat in response to stress.  Sometimes I do succumb to that a little bit, but that is no longer my primary coping mechanism.  I characterize it that I now eat to live... as opposed to living to eat.  When I frame a celebration, of course food needs to be planned, but it is different for me now, as I don't have to worry that I'll over indulge on sweets and feel bad later... because I CAN'T go crazy on sweets or I'll be sick.  So it takes the pressure off in that sense.  

My perception of self is a work in progress. People say "hey there skinny" and I do not  know how to react.  I used to rebuff the comment telling them I'm not skinny etc.. but my teachings tell me that to refuse a gift (and a heartfelt compliment is certainly a gift) is to insult the giver... so I don't DO that any more.  I know that I am still overweight and one goal that I had was to no longer BE overweight... so I'm not sure how I balance this with people telling me that I don't need to lose any more.  I'm still working on knowing how to know when it is enough.

My level of physical activity has drastically changed too.  Some things are obvious, like the ability and DESIRE to ride a bike and walk for extended periods.  But others are not so obvious... like last night I was weeding in the garden and was hunkered over for some time before it occurred to me... "HEY, I can do this without feeling like I am asphyxiating myself!"(bending over for any amount of time reduced my air intake before I lost weight).  I can carry things and just help with physical things around the farm that I wasn't as involved in before because I was so winded.  This morning I was thinking I'd like to tackle the stairs at Mount Baldhead in Saugatuk/Douglas again and see how different the experience is from the last time I did that.  poor Jen thought I was going to collapse on the way up... seriously, I'm not exaggerating here, and I was also worried, but would not give up until I reached the top. 

I am creating a "year two list" of things I'd like to at least try sometime in this second year of my new life.  So here goes:

• Climb a rock wall
• Run - not necessarily do a running event, but just see if I can... you know... run!
• Get a good bike - and ride regularly... building up to longer distances
• Climb Mt. Baldhead
• Climb Tower Hill at Warren Dunes State Park

That's all I can think of off the top of my head.  I owe an immense debt of gratitude to the people on my support team:

• Creator 
• Jen
• My family: Kids, siblings, extended family
• My Circle of Friends
• The awesome folks at Team:Bariatrics
• Roseann

Peace out my peeps!
OH here's the count T minus 103 and counting...

The Formula

Captainsblog, Stardate: 63860.1

It's all contingent on a formula, this weight loss /  improved health thing. And here's the thing, it does NOT come in a pill... the super duper, new and improved weight loss fat burning formula product du jour... NOPE!  

The necessary components to the formula are all within YOU, all things over which YOU have influence: eating the right foods in the right amounts (duh), exercise (ditto), water consumption, and sleep.  If any one of those components is missing, or inadequate... weight loss.. yeah, aint gunna happen!  Let's look at these one at a time, shall we?  Now I am talking from my own post-bariatric perspective, keep that in mind.

• Food - must be the right KIND of food, for me, that means a whole LOT of protein.  Any non-protein food kind of robs me of protein, I've said it before, but I repeat this for MY benefit... I'm not perfect and I do want other stuff too, so this helps remind myself.  Also portion control is critical. Granted the surgery did a lot of that for me, but any post-op bariatric patient will tell you, you can eat too much - and it is unpleasant to say the least!  In my case, I also must supplement my food intake with vitamins, due to the malabsorptive nature of the procedure I had.  I am faithful about taking those.
• Exercise - I have found that if I am leveling off on my progress, exercise is probably the culprit.  Either not getting enough, or that I need to mix it up.  My body gets used to  whatever I am doing physically and I need to shake it up sometimes.  
• Water  Consumption - Sometimes I get bored with water... I want some FLAVOR... and I'm not a fan of many of the crystal lite flavors any more... I love TEA... so I drink a LOT of it (mostly decaf herbal teas).  I sometimes have to force myself to drink just... plain... water.  It messes with my progress, it messes with my body in so many ways... so yes WATER, WATER, WATER!
• Sleep - this is a tricky one for me.  I do have intermittent insomnia (not a surgical side effect, this has been with me a long time)... sometimes I just can't sleep, at other times I just don't go to bed soon enough, but wake up time is still the same. It is not uncommon for me to only get 4 or 5 hours sleep, and I KNOW that is not enough.  What I am finding out though is that if I deprive myself of sleep my progress slows/stops.  It's like my body is saying alright... we only have so many resources here kiddo, and if you're NOT going to recharge us, we're holding onto all resources... just... in... case!  

So these days I'm really TRYING to be mindful of the formula...  I came across the pic on the left recently and I think that was pretty close to my heaviest.  When I look at that, I am blown away at how far I have come.  I feel so much better, I have stamina, I look forward to physical activity and am enjoying life - manuganuh - it's all good!

Another Lesson Trying to Be Learned

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It's all about the journey... right? So on the journey there's a LOT of scenery... valleys and mountains and even plateaus.  I made the mistake last week of saying I was on "the plateau from hell" to the wonderful person who is helping me sort some of my "stuff" out.  Her questions about why I would call it that... help me to examine my progress to this place where I am today.  Okay yes, I KNOW the erroneous height/weight charts are full of it... and down right evil.  I've lost... a LOT at this point (100 - 103 depending on the day).  My family, my friends, my counselor... tell me that even if I didn't lose another ounce, I am great.  Part of me is cool with that... part of me isn't.  I don't know if the notion of being labeled as "overweight" is what I'm hanging up on.  The evil H/W charts and even the blasted Wii... tell me that I am overweight.  And seriously... when in my recent history did I give a rat's ass about what other people think? That should apply to or a chart... or a piece of equipment conceived by people too! If I have leveled off... if I am going to be "stuck" at this weight... it that a huge problem?  

I am at at beautiful place... I am more active, I feel SO much better.  I am in control... not controlled BY food. So what could be the problem?  What do I have to do to convince MYself, that the charts are propagated by the insurance industry, and are indeed erroneous and evil?  I am not gaining back my weight... I have not "failed" I am not giving certain people the satisfaction of being right "everyone I ever knew who had that surgery gained it all back and then some" (biotch!).  I am doing just FINE!!!


I KNOW that a lesson is repeated until it is learned, so I'm trying like hell to figure this out...

See the picture... that is a BEAUTIFUL plateau in Australia called Uluru.. a place I hope to one day visit and feel the vibrations of the past.  I cannot imagine  more beautiful place... so why do I consider natural landform plateaus beautiful and my natural bodyform plateau not to be an equally beautiful place to be????

Time Flies...

Captainsblog, Stardate: 63802.3

Wow - today marks 11 months since surgery.  There have been so MANY changes, it's hard to know where to start!  

• Over the weekend I participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.  I walked it, I'm not a runner, but I had fun, I finished and I didn't feel like I was going to keel over. I actually walked slower than my norm, to stay with some of my team mates.  So the ability to be more physically active, and have increased stamina - big change
• Totally different wardrobe.  I have a few pieces I can't bring my self to send to Goodwill, but the clothes I wear, are all different
• New daily patterns of activity.  There is more cooking going on and much less use of processed/prepared foods... very little fast food so we have to make our own stuff, which is way healthier anyway... just takes time to do that.  Also there are more physical activities in the daily pattern... more exercise... more physical interaction with the world.
• Different patterns of mind regarding food... I see a dessert and think, oh that looks good, but I don't think "I'm going to have some of that I'll "be good" tomorrow. I no longer define myself as being good or bad in terms of food like I used to.   I KNOW that eating more than a bite or 2 of whatever the temptation du jour is... will make me sick.  I don't want that to happen, so I'll either have that bite or two, or more often... just pass.  But the funny thing is I don't feel all depressed about it... I feel empowered, it was MY choice... not because some "diet" says I can't have it. 
• New hair (you didn't seriously think I would not talk about the hair... didja?).  I got it cut short-short yesterday, the mid length was too much work, and I'm not all about fussin' with my hair.  LOVE the new do, but am a little sad that all of my hair accoutrements (and I have a TON... and some way cool ones) will just gather dust... sigh

Time flies when you are transforming your life!